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31 October 2008 @ 02:31 pm
Author: [info]claudia_lexan
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 5,829
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Thank you to my beta Mago186.
Notes: Au, univerise. The title of this story is from the Blue October song - Hate Me. Very short first part as livejournal wouldn't let me post this chapter in one go.  The chapter will have to be posted in three parts
Disclaimer: These are not characters of my own creation
Summary: what if Dean was the little brother. Sam still went away to college but he left his little brother with his dad figuring, foolishly, that he could trust his old man to take care of him.

Hate Me - Part One
Hate Me - Part Two
Hate Me - Part Three
Hate Me - Part Four


Sitting on the edge of the bed, he listens to the sounds of Sam singing in the shower and attempts to relax. Just a few short hours ago, he had been ten feet beneath the surface of LakeManitoc. He had been surrounded by water so dark that he had been unable to see more than a foot. His movements in the water had not come easy. Mostly due to the coldness of the water and the clothes he wore dragging him down. He had also known that just one wrong move and the Lake spirit would claim another victim.

It had only been by Sheriff Devin’s surprising act of conscience that he had been able to save Luke. By giving his life to the spirit of the lake there had been no last desperate attempt to breathe the life back into Luke. He didn’t have to witness another young life end. It had been good to get the happy conclusion to what had been a hard two days. Now the hunt was finished and the Lake was once again safe to swim in.

There wasn’t a lot left for him to do. Sam had grabbed the first shower claiming it was a big brother’s right.

He had been waiting for Sam to get out of the shower for nearly twenty minutes. It meant that any chance he had for hot water was no longer possible, as Sam would have used it all. For some inexplicable reason, that really pissed him off. For so long he had been used to himself for company and doing things in his own unique way. Having Sam with him on what was appearing to be an almost permanent basis wasn’t turning out as well as he had hoped it would. Sam’s constant presence was proving to be stifling.

Looking around the motel room, he began to search for Sam’s shoes. Sam only had one pair, as his last pair had been ruined by jumping into LakeManitoc. He found the shoes by the closed bathroom door. He reached down, picked them up, and thought about hiding them. Hiding Sam’s shoes had been something he always used to do to Sam as a young child. That small game he used to play on his brother kept Sam with him for a little longer. He wasn’t playing a game with Sam this time. He had outgrown that part of his life years ago. Sliding his hand into his coat pocket, some of the tension left his shoulders when he found his car keys. With Sam’s shoes still in his hand, he opened the motel room’s door and walked outside. Making no noise, he shut the door behind him as he went.

John?” Bobby asked. The last time he had spoken to the eldest Winchester harsh words had been exchanged. He had finally told John just what he had thought of his treatment of Dean.

“Guess again.” Dean said.

Dean,” Bobby replied. Like all other hunters, he knew that Dean was hunting with Sam again. Most hunters feared or respected Dean. There was no in between. With Sam, hunters either respected or feared him.

Bobby, how are the dogs?” Dean casually asked as he stopped using the Impala as a leaning post and began to walk around the car. When he talked to Bobby about something serious, he found it impossible to keep still. He always had to keep moving.

“They are still as stubborn as ever. You should come and see them,” Bobby replied. He knew from previous conversations with Dean that you should never push him. A slow starting conversation always proved to be far more worthwhile.

“That may be a problem,” Dean admitted. He would like to see Bobby and spend a few days at the house, but he couldn’t do that with Sam constantly by his side. Bobby’s house was a place of refuge from his family.

“All you need is to make the journey to my place. Where is the problem in that?” Bobby asked.

Sam is with me.”

Bobby knew that Dean’s relationship with Sam wasn’t as good as it could be. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t welcome Sam into his house. “Bring Sam with you.”

Sighing in a way that would show just how frustrated he was with Bobby, Dean said, “Sam has been a little overbearing lately.”

Bobby instantly realized that Dean had just understated the situation with his brother and he didn’t like that. It meant that Dean was close losing what little patience he had left. “What has he been up to lately?”

“The first hunt we did together was to find out what had killed these campers in the forest. It turned out to be a wendigo and I was captured by it. But Sam was able to find me. I left a trail of M&M’s. He found me everything turned out well in the end, but that wasn’t enough for Sam."

“Where did you leave this trail?” Bobby asked he wasn’t going to condemn Sam without getting the full story of that first hunt.

“The woods. I know M&M’s are not the most practical things to use to leave a trail in the woods, but they were all I had on hand. I know that there was a high chance any woodland creature could have eaten those M&M’s. Sam made me feel all of two inches tall,” Dean said. He didn’t like to admit that Sam still had the power to make him feel worthless.

“Maybe he was worried about you.”

“Maybe he was but …”

Bobby prompted.

“It was his whole attitude. The way Sam was talking to me you would have thought I was new to the hunting gig. It only got worse when we arranged to meet at this bar. He was late for the meeting.” Dean said. He suddenly felt younger than his years for needing to vent. He was usually so close-mouthed when it came to family, but the last couple of days with
Sam had just been too much.

Recognizing the sound of someone who was stressed and under pressure,
Bobby asked. “What did you talk about?”

“Sam told me that it was easier not to speak to me for six years. I forgave him because I can understand how easy it is not to confront something straight on. He tired to convince me that I should get my GED so I could go to college.”

“Getting a GED is a good idea Dean. It gives you the option of doing something other than hunting with your life. It’s not a chance you should pass up,”
Bobby said. He knew that Dean would automatically see the chance of getting a GED as wasted time. He viewed it as planning for a future without the GED as a threat.

“It’s not something I want to do. I’m happy with the life I have. Why do I need to add any extra complications to my life?” Dean asked.

“You don’t want to reach the later stages of your life regretting the things you could have done but didn’t. You may not want to get a GED now, but don’t instantly dismiss the idea.”

“I told
Sam about the hunter I killed,” Dean said, changing the course of the conversation to a subject he was far more comfortable with.

“You did the right thing with that hunter. He had been badly injured by a werewolf and it wouldn’t have been long before the transformation began. Killing him was just the kind thing to do,”
Bobby said.

“Sam seemed to think that it was wrong for me to be alone. I got the impression he thought I was too young to be hunting alone.”

Bobby whole-heartedly agreed with Sam on that point. John should not have allowed Dean to go on a hunt with a guy who was known to go into situations not fully prepared. He didn’t voice that shared view with
Dean though. “Sam was just showing his emotions.”

“He kept going on and on about my solo hunts. When he wouldn’t stop nagging me, I asked him to tell me something about dad. When he couldn’t think of anything to say I told
Sam a few things I shouldn’t have,” Dean said as he turned slightly to look at the motel room. He could see Sam moving about the room searching for the shoes he wouldn’t be able to find.

“What type of things?”
Bobby asked, silently praying to all the deities he knew that John hadn’t abused his youngest son.

For a moment, Dean thought about lying to Bobby about his dad. Although his dad had been abusive, he didn’t want an old family friend to think badly of his dad. He didn’t want to be responsible for taking one of his dad’s friends with just a few words. He didn’t want to do any of that, but he was tired of hiding everything inside. Licking his lips and taking his gaze away from the motel room he said. “About the abuse.”

Those were three words he had never wanted to hear Dean say. There had been so many times that John and Dean had stayed with him. There had been no signs of Dean’s abuse. Knowing that didn’t make any of the guilt he felt lessen. With difficulty, he kept his voice calm and asked, “What kind of abuse?”

Once again, he looked aback at the motel room and instead of seeing Sam moving about the room he saw Sam standing in the motel room’s open doorway. Ignoring
Sam, he continued to walk around the Impala. Taking a breath to calm himself down he said. “The kind he should be jailed for.”

“It’s not too late to put him there.”

A bittersweet laugh escaped his lips as he thought about the many ways
Bobby’s suggestion wouldn’t work. He knew his dad would survive prison. Life as a hunter had prepared his dad for the bad things in life. Going to the police was never a choice he had. As a hunter himself, he had a long history of credit card fraud. He had committed a series of petty crimes that, if discovered, would get him a few years in jail. The main reason he wouldn’t go to the police about his dad was selfish and simple. He didn’t want anyone to look at him and see a victim. “When he starts talking about the supernatural how long do you think it will be before they put him in the nuthouse?”

“Maybe that is all he deserves,”
Bobby replied. He would personally like to see John locked in a house with a ravenous vampire. A vampire that could make John’s death a long and painful one.

“We need his help to find the yellow eyed demon,”
Dean stated.

“Bullshit. You don’t need
John’s help to find the demon. You are more than capable of finding the demon and killing it,” Bobby said. He wasn’t going to allow Dean to excuse John’s behaviour.

“Dad still needs to be here hunting with me and Sam. We are all better off together.” As
Dean was about to begin another circle around the Impala a small noise made him turn his attention back to the motel room. Sam was walking toward him with a determined glint in his eye.

“Do you believe that Sam will be able to work with your father?”
Bobby asked.

Now that
Sam was standing just inches in front of him, he automatically looked down at Sam’s feet. With a smile, Bobby wouldn’t be able to see, but would recognize in his voice he replied, “I’m not asking for Sam’s permission. He will have to work alongside with dad or he can leave.”

Dean, you have to be reasonable. You told Sam about the abuse. It’s only natural that he is going to be protective.”

Sam in the eye, he said with no amount of guilt “I don’t need to be protected Bobby. I can handle dad.”

For the last two minutes,
Sam had listened to a one sided conversation about their dad. He had been willing to let Dean talk to Bobby without interrupting. As soon as Dean had looked him in the eye, he had wanted to rip the phone out of Dean’s hand. Dean should be having this conversation with him. With that firmly in mind, he took the phone out of Dean’s hand and said, “Bobby, its Sam. Dean will speak to you later.”

Sam flipped the cell phone shut, ending the phone call before Bobby could reply.

Part two


Current Mood: busybusy
AbbySN_24lover: Sad Deansn_24lover on October 31st, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
Poor Dean. But I am glad that he has Bobby to talk to. And Sammy needs to back off and let Dean come to him to talk, I mean he has been gone for 6 years. Damn.

**running to part 2**
claudia_lexanclaudia_lexan on November 1st, 2008 09:40 am (UTC)
Dean needed to talk to someone who wasn't going to force his own opinon on him. Besides we all need to have someone we can call when we need to vent.