“I love you Sam, that’s not enough anymore.  It’s not enough for me to put up with your constant broken promises and threats,” Dean said

 
“What threats,” Sam demanded pissed that Dean had chosen a crowded diner to have a dear john type of moment in.   Well he wasn’t going to take this quietly.

 
“I know about Sarah,” Dean replied

 
“Sarah is a friend.”  Sam said

 
“Friends are the people you hang out with.  There not the people you fuck.  You can’t love me if you do shit like that,” Dean said

 
“I love you,” Sam insisted

 
“Bullshit,” Dean said

With his hands wrapped around the cup of hot chocolate, he could with a bit of imagination pretend that he wasn’t in a rundown diner.  He could pretend that his life wasn’t one hunt after the other and he wasn't going to die alone.

 
The hot chocolate wasn’t something he would usually drink but today was different.

 
As a young child a hot chocolate had been a treat. Something he would only ever get if he had been good boy.  Having a hot chocolate was his one treat.  The one thing he allowed himself in remembrance of a lost life.

 “Damn it Dean our dad is dead and all you can do is fix the fucking car.  When are you going to pulled your head out of your ass and talked to me,” Sam angrily demanded.  In the two months since Dean had been released from the hospital and they had buried there dad had hardly spoken. Silence, complete and utter silence.

“Dean just one word.  I just want one emotional reaction from you,” Sam said

“His dead Sam and there is no point in talking about it,” Dean said.  Talking about there dad wasn’t going to bring him back.

Dying for the first time had been a shock but it had been enough to change his attitude towards the hunt.  His first death caused him to work harder in his chosen profession.  His second death was very different.  When he died for the second time he was able to witness the affect his death had on his brother.  What he had witnessed caused him no amount of pain.

 
It was his second death that caused him to finally change.  He finally told Sam that he viewed him as a lover and not a brother. 

 
Sam more than returned that love. 

“I don’t love you Dean and I don’t think I ever have.  You just became the person I clung to because I had no one else.  Now that the hunt is over with I can go back to the life I deserve and need.  The life that you are not a part of”  Sam as he slowly destroyed what was left of Dean’s confidence.  He took no pride in breaking Dean but it was for the best.  What they had together wasn’t healthy and it was slowly destroying him.  It was better to break Dean by ending there relationship.

He lost his dad to the supernatural hunt. 

 
Sam doesn’t utter more than two words to him in a single day.   When Sam does speak to him, the words are full of hate.  Sam would of course deny such a thing but it was obvious.  Sam can’t forgive him for being alive when there dad is dead. He didn’t ask there dad to give his life for him.  It wasn’t wanted or needed.  With a lot of things in life he wasn’t given a choice.

 
He knows Sam hates him for being alive but knowing that really doesn’t change anything.

With one hand grasping the doorknob to the door that had at one time been Sam’s bedroom he swallowed as he attempted to push down his feelings.  He did not want to be there but it was a job from there dad.  A job that could not be ignored.  Stepping into the room he bit his lower lip to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.  He had to be strong, visibly showing his emotions was a weakness he could ill afford.  There was a job that needed to be completed and how he felt was unimportant.

In a bar filled truckers and ten dollar whores Dean shares a table with his brother and his soon to be ex-lover.  After several beers he had finally found the nerve to tell Sam that there relationship was over.  Looking Sam in the eye he bitterly regrets what he is about to do.

 
“Sam,” Dean said

 
“Yeah,” Sam replied.  He was finally happy with the path he had taken in life.  He was in a relationship with Dean.  He finally felt complete.

 
“Its over,” Dean said looking directly at Sam’s a part of him shrivelled up and died inside.

Putting a blindfold around Sam’s eyes so he wouldn’t be able to see his surprise he placed a gentle kiss on the back of Sam’s neck.  With a hand placed on Sam’s lower back he guided Sam from where he had parked the impala to the small private beach he had rented for the day.  The beach couldn’t be seen from the road.  The only way you could gain entrance to the beach was by a private road.  Once at the very start of the private beach he took of the blindfold and said “Happy birthday Sam.”

Sam had a very bad case of the flu.

 
He had nursed Sam though the measles and the flu four times before this bout of flu.  This case of the flu was different from all the other times as Sam kept insisting he could there mom.  Just because he couldn’t see there mom it didn’t mean she wasn’t there.

 
So he sat next to Sam on the bed and listened as he had a conversation with there mom.  Every so often Sam would try to include him in the conversation but he would just mom didn’t want to speak to him

“I’m dying Sam.”

 
“No your not.  We can find a doctor who knows what there doing. We can find another faith healer.  There is something out there that will save you.” Sam said.  He would not stand  by and watch as he brother suffered from so much pain.  He would not watch Dean die.  He wouldn't be left alone.

 
 “Sammy there will be not more faith healers.  I’m dying and there is nothing that can save me.  He knew that when Roy healed me there would be consequences.  You have to let me go,” Dean said

 
“I can’t.”  Sam replied